We all have heard this phrase ‘Change is the only Constant’. I strongly believe that my life is a perfect example to fit this quote. My father was a banker which means I moved schools every 2 - 3 years. My entire schooling was completed in 7 different schools across India. My longest stay in one place was my 4 years (out the 5 years) of college life in Pilani, Rajasthan. After my marriage in 2005, I have moved internationally to 4 countries in a span of 12 years. Now that I have established that my life is a perfect example of the quote, let me share how I manage the challenges that come with the constant changes.
Kubler-Ross model of change curve explains the various stages of the process of change. There are also models that talk about 12 emotional stages of change. We find our own coping mechanisms to work through these stages. Mine was creation, either as articles and blogs (some of which I publish on my personal blog, LinkedIn and other collaborative platforms like Momspresso, Quora, Parent Circle…), or in the form of tatting (tea coasters laces), embroidery (specifically counted cross stitch – as above – or Anchor Quick Stitch using satin stitch) and gardening (always had a home garden with at least a couple of plants if not more).
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| Anchor Quick Stitch Kit | Tatting – Coffee Table Motif (4x4 – the size can be increased by increasing the number of smaller motiffs that we wish to join together) |
All these help me bring back my disrupted focus back on one thing which is what meditative practices teach us. Initially, meditating was not something I understood because I was not able to relate to it. Once I started seeing the similarities in the way I wrote, and created, in how I would repeatedly bring back focus, mindfully, to my work even when I got distracted, I realised that meditation wasn’t that difficult a practice. It was okay to get distracted, as long as you could bring back your focus to what you are trained to focus on by your meditation practitioner.
The Counted cross stitch (a gift that I made for my spouse to celebrate our decade of marriage) took me about 6 – 8 months to complete. During this time, I was living with two young children (one in primary school and the other full time at home with me) in a European country (and I did not know any of the European languages), while my spouse used to travel between our place of residence Lyon, Paris, Germany, and Switzerland. The Taj Mahal was just a 10-day effort during this phase of my life itself. The coffee table motif that I created using tatting, took me about a year when I was studying my undergrad, about two decades (and a few months more) ago.
The creative process helps in bringing back my attention to my ‘centre’ and gives me the much needed balance and regulation. Each of my creations has a story behind it, some of which I share to the world through my writing, some are just in my head and for my family to enjoy and relish the experience. Find what it is that centres you, and develop that part of yourself, to work on your holistic wellbeing.
Aarthi Prabhakaran
November 2021
